Sylvanwye extract

Extract from a story I be writing (and to lighten the mood of my blog just a little) 😉


The puff wheat told Nehemiah that magic was going to change and that he would have to find a way to save it for the future because, it foretold that on the night of The Torches and Pointy Stuff with Bells on the mob were going unleash something BAD, something terribly bad, something nasty and horrid and bad, something so bad and appalling that appalling and bad just don’t cover what it is!

It was a bit pessimistic, this cereal.

It was sugar-free.


It also told him he should ditch the kick flare corduroy trousers and not grow a goatee when he got older.

Sensible advice from one so wheaty and puffy, I doubt you’d get that sort of guidance from a chocolate based cereal.

How true. Now, years ago when your granny’s granny’s granny…

You get the picture.



… was alive it was customary to nail an iron horse-shoe (sans horse of course) on your door or inside your house for good luck and to ward off any malicious hexes, curses or defend against witchy widgety fidgety magical stuff (whether you were a horse-shoe pointing up (luck wouldn’t fall out) or a horse-shoe pointing down (good luck would fall on you) was up to your granny’s granny’s granny.

Is that why they put iron railings around a graveyard, then?

Yeah, to stop the souls of the dead from wandering around town and making a nuisance of themselves, hoo hooo – obviously it doesn’t work as ghosts can fit through the gaps or go through the railings if they’re showing off (and ghosts like to show off) because ghost aren’t magical beings or spells, they be supernatural, a whole different ball game entirely.
Now, every wizard worth his salt knows that iron is the most magical deterrent because:

It Repels Off N-chantment.

N-chantment? Really?

Yes, N-chantment. Look, if you’re going to pooh-pooh this bit I won’t carry on with it. It’s hard enough sat here writing without your constant pooh-poohing of events!!!

But, N-chantment? NOT A WORD!

Right that’s it!


Copyright ©RMC Feb 2018


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