Extract from a novel I be writing:

Concealed within this page was yet another small slim book with a rainbow on the front. He took it out from where it was lodged in the spine and opened a window to let some air in (this was his first mistake).

He looked at the cover.

How To Reanimate The Dead

A book of renewed hope (small pet addition)
Heidi Clare-It-lives.

He opened the book and began to read:

Disclaimer, please read carefully before use.

The accuracy and completeness of information provided herein and incantations stated herein are not guaranteed or warranted to produce any particular results and may not be suitable for every individual death. The author shall not be liable for any loss or damage incurred as a consequence of the use and application, directly or indirectly, of any spells presented in this work. This publication is designed to provide accuracy in regard to the subject matter covered. The author has used her best efforts in preparing this book. Sold with the understanding if something bad happens you’re on your own and no monies will be refunded, or legal costs covered.

If in doubt, don’t use.

Published by Spell Works Ltd, to make the author and ourselves as much money as possible.
 (Although based in fact, this is a work of pure fiction).

Guffet turned the page and pressed down on the spine to stop it closing.

The spells and incantations in this book are for small animals only. If your pet is large in size (elephant, giraffe, blue whale, dinosaur, dragon) please buy Reanimating Larger Pets by the same author. No exchange or refund will be given.

To reanimating your (small) pet, please follow these simple instructions:

The spell must be conducted at night between the hours of nine and midnight (that’s nine at night, when it gets dark or dusky depending on the time of year.)

He checked his watch, it was five-thirty, so he placed an old tea towel over the body and waited around busying himself in his own garden  hoping Granny Noxious wouldn’t miss Butterball Jones.


Copyright RMC Nov 2017

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